A Cup of Tea With Me

My last day at my current job is Thursday, January 10. When I went to work there, in March, it was supposed to be temporary. A woman was out with Chemo and I was covering for her. Then it got to October, and I promised I would stay through Christmas. Now the boss is on vacation and will be back on the 1oth. I actaully gave my notice in early December, but I honestly did not think this day would ever come.

I am in the process of trying to find a 40 hour, Monday - Friday job, where I can be home with my hubby and kids on nights and weekends. It is my prayer that God directs my job hunt and that I end up where He wants me.

Many of you know I work in the mall, in a kiosk in the middle of the mall. What many of you do not know is that I am close to one of the busiest entrances to the mall and there is a ton of foot traffic passing almost every day.

There is something about this location that attracts people. I do not know what it is. I do know that the hand of God is on this location, because I have had some of the most amazing religious experiences there. I was saved in that location. The Holy Spirit entered my life and has blessed me dramatically there. When I think about that day, I can still think of the depression lifting and the Holy Spirit filling me. It is amazing. The man that stopped and talked to me was a spanish charismatic evangelist, who was also active in prison ministry. I know that God sent Eli into my life at just the right time.

A few months ago, a man came up to me and asked me if I believed in Christ. I gave him a hearty “YES!” with a sparkle in my eye. He asked me what church I went to, and when I told him I attended a Baptist church, he asked me if I spoke in tongues. When I told him I did not he tried to convince me that I was not saved. When I told him that I knew without a doubt that I was, and described to him my experience, he agreed that he may be wrong and that I might be able to be saved without speaking in tongues. He also said “Well, we will find out, if I see you in heaven or not.” and left. While irritated at first, I had to begrudgingly admire his willingness to step outside th box and talk to people about their faith.

Ok, now we are up to last week: There was a family that was hanging around my kiosk for about an hour and a half. Being at a major intersection, I thought that maybe they were just waiting on someone. At one point the dad sat down. The mom and the grown daughter both put their hands on him. I assumed that he was not feeling well.

A little while later, the dad walked up and started asking me about the pecans. Nothing unusual about that. He then asked me about the cross on my hat. I tell him that it is a symbol of my faith, blah blah blah. He asks me about my church, I tell him I attend Central Baptist Church. He proceeds to tell me he is a pentecostal. I get hesitant to continue a conversation with him because the guy I mentioned earlier was pentecostal. I tell him my views on denominations, so that he knows where I stand and that he is not going to change my mind that I am going to heaven. Here is the shocking part. He agreed with me! My jaw dropped.

Anyway, he tells me I have 3 children. I go to correct him, but then I think of Morgan and tell him, “Sort of. Two boys and an angel in heaven. ” He tells me that he has the gift of prophecy, and that he feels there is a message I need to hear, but it is just not coming to him. Yeah, I know he is fishing, but I am intrigued by this point.

I tell him about my husband’s faith, thinking that is what it is. He talks to me about it. Then he says “I sense you nag at him a lot about going to church.” I called him on that one. Pointed out what Peter says about showing our faith with our actions, not our nagging. He graciously admitted he was wrong.

He tells me to get anointing oil and anoint the walls of my house, while praying. He also tells me to anoint my husband’s head, while he is sleeping and pray, asking the Holy Spirit to fill him. **Honestly, I feel like that is manipulating the situation. **

Then just before he leaves he says, “You are in a unique place to witness to people. You are set aside to do mighty work for the Kingdom.” My jaw dropped.

I do not know what part of my life he is saying is in a unique place. I thought he meant the mall, but I am not 100% certain of that. I just know that his message, much like Eli’s came to me at just the right time. I do not know where God is leading me, but I know I am ready for the journey.

I will admit, if he is talking about me staying in the mall, I just might cry. I want out of retail so badly, and to be honest, the retail hours are hurting my family.

So, here is the start of yet another spiritual journey.

Good morning! My day got off with a good reading and some blogging. How about yours?

1) Refresh your spirit:
Today I read my Thursday reading of “Light of The World” in Praying the Names of Jesus.

Matthew 5:14-16 (NASB):
¹⁴ “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden;
¹⁵ nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.
¹⁶ “Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

Philippians 2:14-16 (NASB):
¹⁴ Do all things without grumbling or disputing;
¹⁵ so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world,
¹⁶holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain.

These are the verses that I will be meditating on today, as I go about my day, looking to Him to guide my path.

2) Take Time to Plan
I work today, so my planning will be centered around that.

• Work
• Buy dishwasher detergent that I forgot at the grocery store yesterday
• Pick up the living room
• Finish my last load of laundry from yesterday
• Do one load of laundry from today
• Pay bills
• Buy that last gift for Christmas
• Make the returns that need made
• Clean the bathroom

For dinner tonight we are having Cube Steak and Mac & Cheese. I know it is not a “fancy” dinner, but Hubby loves it, and that is what matters.

3) Do Something!
Today’s “Do Something!” is to maintain the rooms we have cleaned and to clean the bathrooms. I will just be able to pick up the bathrooms and clean the toilet in the boys bathroom. I am not sure I will have time to do the rest of the bathrooms, but I will certainly try.

I will not be home most of the day to mark things off the list as I finish them. I will update this when I get the chance.

God bless you all and have a great day, making your home a haven for your family. Stop by and see Crystal for more details on this challenge.

I am so torn. I am happy and I want to lock myself in the bathroom and cry my eyes out.

My oldest turns 16 today. He has his first truck, he gets his license this morning, and he starts his job on Thursday.

The job is nice, it is not far from mine, but yet far enough that I cannot be an over bearing mom and go in and check on him every five minutes. The other job he wanted was right next door and I think that would have been bad. I think I would be more worried about what was going on with him than what is happening at my work. Yep, I am one of those moms.

Oh, and loose on the streets… He starts driving in earnest today. Driving without his dad, or myself, in the car. On his own.

No more driving him around. No more giving him movie money. It is all over.

Please pray for my peace with this, and please pray for his safety as he spreads his wings, just a little bit, and his wisdom that he continues to make wise choices. Thank you!

Last night I was at work. One of my neighbors, a young man who works next to me that we have just started being friendly to each other, came over to say “hi”. It was terribly slow so, I had my Bible out, and I was reading the Psalms. He asked what I was reading, so I showed him. I did not go into detail, because he is Muslim and having several Muslim friends, I have a respect for their beliefs. — Several of my Muslim friends and I can carry on healthy discussions about our religions, the differences, why we believe, and so forth, without it getting ugly. — I want to point out right now, I have a few Muslim readers, and a few Pagan readers. I am not bashing Muslims. We have to have a healthy respect for each other to be able to talk to one another.

Once this young man learned I was a Christian, he started talking very negatively about my family. In particular, my oldest son. He told me that he could tell me my son did drugs, just by the clothes he wore, and that I needed to be a better parent and raise my kids more like he was raised!?!?!

I (not so) politely pointed out that I was a recovered drug addict. My brother did drugs for almost 20 years. I KNOW what a drug addict looks like and I KNOW what a drug addict ACTS like. Yes, my son dresses like an individual, but that does not mean that he does drugs! Moosey and I have a VERY open relationship about drugs and drug use. He knows that I was addicted. He knows that I almost died from a crystal meth OD. He knows these things. He is not going to be stupid enough to try to do these things.

Moosey has a friend. This friend came to the mall, ‘tweaking’ one day. I pointed it out to Moosey. He tried to tell me that was just the way the guy was. I pointed out some of the more obvious factors and he said, “You know what, mom, you are right, that is a bit worse than it usually is.” He KNOWS I know what I am talking about when it comes to this, and he knows he will not be able to sneak it by me.

I cannot believe this young man (a high school junior), was telling me how to raise my kids. I know I am not perfect, I know that I need help in some areas, but telling me my kid is on drugs, when I know he is not is not even just a little bit cool! Moosey has had his run in with drugs, in Jr. High and another childs ADD meds. He has learned a valuable lesson and I do not think he will repeat that mistake, while still living my my home. He may forget his morals and my ideals when he gets out on his own… but I have three years or so to worry about that one.

Sorry for the vent. I just had to share.

*EDIT* I need to point out that this guy and my son go to different High Schools and he has never even spoken to my son.

I thought I would clarify something.

I am not trying to be one of those moms who say “It is not my fault. I cannot do anything about it.” It IS my fault, and I HAVE to do something about it. However, the way I approach this has everything to do with the outcome, as well. You see, if I just go off, and throw things out, then I am a “religious nut” and I just turned my kids and husband against Christianity, and satan wins. If I do nothing, I allow satan to have a hold on our lives, and satan wins. To me this is a loose loose situation.

I am praying for God to reveal what He would have me do, that is after I pray for forgiveness for reading that book, and not His Book, or talking to Him.

When I was a teenager, I was very into heavy metal, horror movies and anything to do with the occult. I remember saying “Oh, Mom, just because I listen to this band or watch this movie or read this book, it is not going to affect my life.” “I am not going to turn into a mass murder, because I like to watch Freddy Kruger.” “I am not going to kill myself because there are subliminal messages in Ozzy’s music.”

I am bipolar, many of my long time readers know that. I have anger issues. I have had dreams were I AM a mass murder. I know it was just a dream, but it was so real that I woke up crying. I have had dreams, where I murdered my children. I stood there, crying over their beds, with the bloody knife in my hand. Yes, it was just a dream, but it felt SO real. I could not think of anything but guilt for days after that dream. I have been suicidal. I wanted to kill myself, many times, not just the time that I talk about in 2005, where God saved me.

Where am I going with all this?

I have always believed that you could listen to what you want, read what you want, watch what you want, and as long as you know right from wrong, that it will be ok.

I have always had a draw, in my life to the occult. I have been fascinated by  magic for as long as I can remember. I have even tried dabbling in it, myself.

I have stuck by my previously mentioned beliefs. Even after becoming a Christian. I have still honestly believed that a book is just a book, a movie is just a movie, a video game is just a video game.

I have read all the Harry Potter books. When I picked up this last one, I had a feeling that I should not be reading it. I just knew in my heart that I should put it down. I did not.  I read the entire book in 3 days. I know some of you read it faster, but I was wrestling with my conscience. I KNEW I should not be reading that book. Yet I did it anyway. I have not felt ANY peace in the past three days. When I was reading it, the ringing in my ears was louder. I had nightmares. Not because the book was scary, but because I was opening a door in my mind that was supposed to stay shut. This world of magic is one of the ways that satan uses to attack my faith. While reading this book, I did not pray once. Nope, none. I just read.

I have found that when my kids start talking about their video games they play, and the killing that they do, the hair on the back of my neck stands up. It gives me chills.

I watch a movie with my beloved,  and I feel physically ill afterward.

I now know that all the things that were just things, as long as you know right from wrong, are all things that satan will use against us.

My struggle now is, “How do I change the happenings in my house, after I have turned a ‘blind eye’ to it after all these years?” Do I just get rid of the video games that we have spent thousands of dollars on? (The thought that we have spent that much money alone, makes me ill.) Do I turn off the music channels? The cable? I do not think that is the answer. I want to find a way to talk to them so they will REALLY listen, not laugh at me, like I did my mom. Any suggestions?

Moosey returned from church camp, which I promise he did not take a washing machine or a bazooka. However, he brought home something wonderful, that he did not take. That is a heart on fire for the Word of God.

He was home for 5 days, then he left again. This time, it was for a mission trip to the Seattle area, where he helped a newer church with a sports camp/vacation bible school. He, again, came home with a heart more on fire.

I just cannot thank God enough for this answer to prayer. It is wonderful to hear about his new desires. They are not all about “Me me me” they are about wanting to reach out.

In the fall he will start being discipled by a young man from the local university, through our church. We are starting to save up for a mission trip to Mexico, over spring break, chruch camp next year, and the Seattle trip next year.

I cannot wait until Boog is old enough to go on these things. 3 years for the camp and 6 years for the missions trips.

Yeah, I am WAY late. Becki and Heather both tagged me weeks ago, and I was too busy “thinking” to respond. Where here it goes. I get to tell you 8 wonderful things about my hubby and me! YAY! I just love to talk about him.

1. We met at a mutual friends birthday party. He had is nipple pierced and thought it was cool. He was showing it to everyone. BLEH! I thought he was the most loud and annoying man I had ever met.
2. One night, we were out with a bunch of friends and he was looking at some tiny blond, who was not with us. I got jealous. That is when I realized that I liked him, and did not think he was as annoying as I originally thought.
3. Before we were dating, I looked at him one night and said “Are you going to kiss me or not?” He did and we have been together ever since
4. We have been married 12 wonderful years.
5. He is one of my best friends.
6. We both have an “odd” since of humor and can usually make each other smile. Other people think we are serious and think we will start fighting at any moment.
7. He loves to play with my hair. Often I will take down my pony tail and lay my head in his lap. He will mindlessly play with my hair while he watches TV.
8. He is not your typical  male. He does not like sports. This makes me very happy.

Now, I am supposed to tag others. Thing is, I do not know who to tag. So, I tag any of my readers who have not done this MeMe, yet. Please post a link to you post in my comments, so we can all go and read them.

I just saw Moosey off to church camp. This is his first time to go. I think it will be a wonderful experience for him.

Anyway, as I was packing for him this weekend, I was reviewing our list of what he could not take, and I had to share it with you all.

What Not to Bring:

• No Electronic devices (cell phones, mp3/cd players, gameboys, washing machines, etc.)
• No prank items (water balloons, shaving cream, water-guns, etc.)
• No lighters, matches, fireworks, pocket knives, guns, bazooka, etc.
• No alcohol, tobacco or drugs
• No magazines

LOL!!!!! I certainly hope some of those were thrown in there to highlight the youth ministers sense of humor. I thought you all could use a smile on this Monday morning.