Yes, I know that I posted yesterday, so this is not really breaking my silence, but I am posting today to let you all know where I have been and what I have been up to.
I have been struggling again. I gave something to God, and I keep taking it back.
I have a praise:
I have been ill for a while. I am talking years. I can remember symptoms going as far back as 1991, when I was pregnant with Moosey. However, I know that many of the symptoms I have had as long as I can remember. I have had Drs tell me there is nothing wrong, that it is all in my head. I have had them look at me like I was insane.
I went to a new Dr. I think I posted a little about him, in Reasons I do Not Trust Doctors. I believe I said I was not 100% sure about him, well, now I know. He is the real deal. He really does care, like he made me think he does in our first visit.
I have answers. I now know why I developed Mitral Valve Prolapse (MVP). I know why I bruise when Boog hits me with a rolled up sales flyer from a local grocery store (he hit me 3 weeks ago and I still have a bruise the size of a base ball on my leg). I know why, at times I do not get enough blood to my brain and I get dizzy and almost pass out. I know these things and more. I am so happy to have answers after all these years.
The cause of all this, and more is Antiphospholipid Syndrome (APS). That is a link to the best source of information I can find on APS, that is in layman’s terms. I have a great handout from my Dr, but it is written with a lot of medical terms that boggle my mind.
Side Note: Antiphospholipid Syndrome is also called Hughes Syndrome. I would prefer to call it Antiphospholipid Syndrome because I cannot pronounce Hughes properly. LOL! It is like Houston. I have to stop and think and make an effort for the “h” to have a sound. I normally pronounce it silently. Isn’t that crazy? I do not know why it is that way, it just is. Cracks me up, because it irritates my kids. Talking to Moosey’s new friend “So you just moved here from Uston?” Moosey: “MOM! Don’t say it that way.” LOL! I know I find humor in the oddest of places. Oddly, sometimes I pronounce humor correctly, and others I do not.
Anyway, I am struggling with the whole APS thing. You see, I am so happy to have answers. However not all questions are answered. This diagnosis actually answered more things that I had thought of. When I was reading the list of symptoms, I was like “WOW! I had not thought of what might be causing that in a while.” But there are still things out there…
But enough about the unanswered. I have sworn, again, to give this to God, and I want Him to keep it. I do not want to take it away from Him again. I am not even going to go into what could be down the road for me, with APS. If you would like to know more about it, please follow the link I provided above.
However, if any of you know anyone else that has been diagnosed with APS, please please please, let me know. Send them my way. I would love to talk to others. There is a forum associated with the website with the link, but I will not join it. You are not aloud to talk about your religious beliefs there. I could tell someone I was praying for them, but I could not thank Him for answered prayer. I could not share how God is my Shepard, and He will lead me through this time in my life.
I say time in my life, like it will have an end. It will not, there is not cure for APS. They are working on a cure, but you know how that goes. 
Maybe some day there will be one, but I am not holding my breath. There is a call for blood platelets for people with Lupus Anticoagulant APS, but my APS is caused by Anticardiolipin antibodies, so I cannot participate in that. 
I knew many of you were wondering where I was. I know that some of you knew where I was and knew I had my answers, but did not know how things were going, because I have been “hiding” again. Yep, another Jonah moment. 
I have WAY to many of those.
